Whispers of the Desert 5

Return to the Old City of Isaiah

***

“Come inside. We’ve been waiting for you. Amir’s mother, Rachel, led her son inside. She held onto him until he stepped across the threshold, and the door locked. “I heard terrible things happening in the valley. Someone should rid the country of these murderers and robbers pretending to be our holy leaders.”

Her son’s face showed the trauma of his last few days. In a single incident, their dreams of him becoming a holy man had evaporated. Rachel hugged her son again and ushered the men to the table. Amir’s mother interrupted Jacob, Amir’s father, from his morning routine. “Jacob, dear. Amir and Subinyá are here.” She turned to her son and Subinyá. “Please sit down, and I will make breakfast. Jacob will speak with you soon.”

When they were all together at the table, Subinyá explained, “Amir’s safety is at risk if he continues to live in the valley or attend school. The Scorpion Judges could find him and use him for their evil designs. The Old City offers safety, as the Red Scorpions hold no power here. It would be best if you took caution.” 

Everyone agreed Amir would stay with his parents and work in the fields. When their discussion ended, Jacob and Subinyá left on horses to visit the fields and talk between themselves. 

Amir worked to reorganize his former bedroom. Later, he settled at a small desk by a portal, reading his old copy of the Holy Laws. The pages of this timeless book had yellowed, with worn ink on the edges, where he had thumbed through them throughout his young life.

Amir could hear his mother working the pans and stoves, making the day’s bread for the shop. Soon, customers would arrive eager to buy the bread still warm from the oven. He put his book down and joined his mother to help her prepare the dough for baking.

***

The two brothers watched as dusty workers in ragged clothes tossed shovels of harvested grains into the air. The heavier grains fell back into the pile while the desert dust and chaff drifted away in a thick cloud. They continued until the grains and chaff separated.

Jacob expressed his frustration. He wanted Amir to live in an academic world that served the people and helped improve the future of their poor city.

“I want Amir to work in the new city and get paid well. The farm work and bakery will tear him down as it has me and his mother. We are old and will soon have less opportunity to help him.”

The old cavalry officer offered his brother hope. “Let him work to make the bakery profitable and use your profits to send him to the university in the new city. He will meet people his age and see what opportunities suit him. The old city will eat him alive with poverty and the people’s struggle.”

The men fell silent until Jacob replied. “Good idea. I’ll talk with him and see where his heart is.”

“Amir is an intelligent young man. He is not a fighter, and he is also full of self-doubt. Encourage him, and you will see how capable he is.” Subinyá climbed on his horse. “We should go back. I will leave at sunset.”

51 responses to “Whispers of the Desert 5”

  1. I never heard your story, of course there is a lifetime of your’s I haven’t heard. So glad you kept pushing through the odds to make it to safety. The story is developing nicely, it flows well and I love the lessons one can learn by paying attention. You’re a special man Daniel. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi M. Thank you. I’ve shared a few stories but I have a huge repertoire of outlandish adventures. Sometimes I think I was trapped in a Bevis and Butthead movie but it all turned out well in the end.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. In your unintentional genius, you’ve just given me the title of my new blog:
    “Epic Author Bloviation.” I may never get to it, but the title is perfect…and that’s a start!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I instantly love it. I’m glad I could be helpful in getting you closer to a new adventure. It looks like the GOO is back and providing plenty of material for your POTUS Character.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Trump won. Tyson lost. I need to return to my original timeline.

        Liked by 4 people

        1. It’s a time when the unexpected should be expected. You could pick up where you left off and not miss a single story beat. The penis flask would be a big hit in our new world of anything goes until one is caught.

          Liked by 2 people

  3.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Damn! Next in line is that personal story of perseverance, sounds harrowing.

    I despise all religions. They’re essentially why humans will never become an elevated species. (And why subjugation by an ASI would be our salvation.)

    Memento Mori.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I do think AI will become the great Omnipotent revelator in just a couple of years. We’ll be easy to subjugate because we won’t even notice our fate is not in our hands. Now there is a story for us to explore.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. “Here, I realized that death is the only true friend I will ever know.” Dude…turn down the dial and “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Whether we have souls or return to the “Void that Binds” (Not my phrase) this fate awaits us all. The big nothingness. Are we going to party with virgins and long lost relatives? That would be nice and most likely a delusion to make us feel good about gasping our last breath…but likely? Nah. A line from another movie which made me chuckle: “Allah, Jesus, Buddha…I don’t care who someone save me.”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I did actually rage quite a lot and it saved me from myself. I’m still a pretty good rager especially when hiking uphill. That is a near death experience but I swear I won’t give in. The silent tree in the forest is going to have to hit me square on the noggin or I’m huffin’ and a puffin’ my way to the top. I like the idea of raging against the dying light. That would be relevant to today’s Celibus Moroni taking over the two gendered world. Why would we not enjoy boinking with 5 or 10 genders in our AI proctored world? Damn genetics, it’s a party pooper. We should slip the bonds of our predestined DNA and gene splice our way into bold new species of boinking centric mentalities (BCM). Oh, wait. WE already did that. We need something new to do to each other.

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  5. Speaking of Holy Books, I’m reading Neil Gaiman’s book on Nordic Gods, leaning more about the true nature of Thor, Loki and Odin. Useless knowledge, but fun anyway. I wonder why he wrote such a book? Are you up to speed on Neil Gaiman’s sexual assault charges? All the greats seem to tumble in the same direction, like dominoes. Or more like magnets to steel. And let’s not mention Diddy.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I have always enjoyed the Poetic Edra of Norse mythology. I didn’t read Gaiman’s book. I’m shocked at the allegations against him. He doesn’t strike me as the kind to perform painful penetration acts with that big nose of his. And I wonder what has happened recently that triggered these allegations 20 years in the past. Perhaps it was the elections or Diddy’s successful conquering of Hollywood. All the big names are on the list of attendees to the Diddy games where the Marquis de Sade’s best techniques were employed against the victims. Again, I was left speechless. How could this be? When Oprah Winfrey is brought up on charges for digital rape, we know the ghost of Caligula and his daddy Nero are making the rounds. The last place to act like this resulted in fire and brimstone and some lady being turned into a pillar of salt. We really need a pervert purge if we are going to remain undestroyed.

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      1. Your interpretation OF the world is what’s missing IN the world. Glad I could find it here…buried among the rubble.

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        1. Whispers in the Desert is crammed full of my novice work as a freelance visionary. Guaranteed to be a bit twisted as am I. 🤪

          Liked by 1 person

  6. I very much enjoyed your explanation of the background of this story, Daniel.

    And I read the comments between you and George.

    I remember back in 2015 within months apart from one another, both Sherry and your distant cousin Ana told me that my writing reminds them of the writing of Neil Gaman.

    Although Ana added that she thought my writing was better than that of Neil Gaman.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I do remember that comment about NG. Thankfully, you don’t have a growing list of accusers outing your preferences for rough sex. I’m beginning to believe my ancient custom of enforcing a moratorium on assault of house keepers and fans has kept me out of trouble. Of course, my cynical sense of humor has the entire village outside my door with torches and pitchforks. 🧛🏻‍♂️🦇

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  7. Best for me to stay out this for this last bit of observation. Writing in the style of the school of redundancy school never got anyone anywhere except in circles like GF. If you don’t let the characters do the work the prologue and afterword will be four times the length of the story. You need two blogs. One for the autobiography, one for the story, one for the birthplace of religions history. Wait. That’s three🤣 Carry to add a little weight to the story when you can get away from the distractions. Like Reverend Billy said – ZZ Top be like good barbecue. Bears down on the meat and eases up on the potato salad.

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    1. LOL! I just can’t avoid a profuse bloviation. Maybe move the commentary and philosophy associated to a different post would avoid boring my reader(s) to death. Maybe deleting that section before more people are traumatized would be even better. I trip on myself and don’t even know it’s me.

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    2. Update on bloviation crisis. The offending afterward is removed and the offending story still remains but a whole lot less offense now. Going for the barbecue now. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There is nothing inherently wrong with the personal anecdotal/inspirational sidebars, appends, forwards or afterwards, opening or closing remarks. It’s all important and good fodder. I love a good story, whether it’s part of a global tragedy or broccoli farts at Christmas dinner. Which I suppose could be tragic. But to me, and this is only me, anything but the story is the author questioning (their) performance and/or social media content. You and I could discuss your creative imperatives till the cows come home, drink a beer, eat nachos and fart, but when content is up, leave it alone. Post prior to or after, or hell, even run a parallel autobiography on different days if you want us to see where it comes from. Like I said, I love human stories. But as men who have been to the edge and back we both know fiction doesn’t come from our reality, or our control, but the synthesis of our realities, dreams and the cosmic radio. Embracing that makes the control freak easy to discard.

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        1. Great explanation, Phil, and broccoli farts at Christmas dinner is what keeps me and my siblings together. We’re very competitive. One rip deserves a better one. I laugh until I cry so hard I can’t breathe, which is likely a survival technique.

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  8. Get the story down and then let’s go back through with a knife and a paint brush and do it up nice.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And remember, this is a process. Get this one out, as best you can, and move on to the next; improving at each increment.

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      1. And burn all that typing energy on the story, or practicing. So far, with the AI illustrations, you have a little golden book with more notes than a devout fundamentalist’s bible🤣

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        1. Waaa haaaa haaaa! I think you pretty much nailed my entire personality amended by my retiree status and only one hobby I’m too lazy to participate in. You gave me a brilliant epiphany. Keep my internal dialog internal. Keep the story dialog on the page. Damn, that’s a tough challenge.

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      2. TBH, that is really what works for me. It can take me a while to turn the theory into practice. The practice part is where I finally get it.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I do like that plan a lot. Even tho I’m finally getting it (somewhat) I’m still whacking it out of the tall grass with just a machete and a compass.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re at chapter 5 with roughly 2870 words. 560 average per. You’ve been to a stoning, crossed the desert at night, brought a young man home and mostly we only have your (author) word for what everyone wanted/wants out of this deal. I have no idea what mom’s house looks like, or the ovens. Not that I need three pages of PD James’ walking through a kitchen but an earthen floor, rough hewn door posts, the heat, the ovens…Setting, like garlic and cumin, a little goes a long way and too much kills the flavor of anything else. Consult the Rose Cafe lady. Have her write you a setting, then whack 80 percent of it, or scatter is around in little bits. They sat together, their rough saddle blankets doubling as seats between their asses and the earthen floor…

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        1. I can definitely do that. I’m in reverb mode trying to find a balance between description and action. I’m about half way through the story offline and almost wrote 500 words on how the family bakes bread and then it occurred to me, I just had everyone slam the story shut and move on to another story on a diet. I do love environment in the story. Like the AI nachos. I thought that was the best part of that scene. But, I digress. This is a dusty, sandy, hot environment. I can have real fun with this Amir said as he scratched a scorpion bite on his butt.

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          1. Do the bread baking in under thirty. Maybe fifty. And not all at once. Work it in to the story line. Think postcards, not travelogue.🤣 As for reverbs, I have a couple of VST reverbs and delay lines that will go out past three minutes. And a delay that will repitch the delays in 8 harmonics. Over like 4 octaves. Stack them up? One note ambient chaos. If they’d had all this shit in ’74 I’d never have come back from the perimeter.
            “Out here in the perimeter there are no stars
            Out here we is stoned
            Immaculate” JM

            Liked by 2 people

            1. What ever happened to LSD? Is that stuff still around? I used to mix harmonics with instruments that did amazing things for signal analysis. I was proud that I could mix signals to draw a Pepsi can on the oscilloscope. I could draw the Eiffel Tower on a spectrum analyzer, and block police radio traffic for 20 miles. My favorite was to break into TV broadcasts and announce China had invaded and taken over every laundry dry cleaners in California. Eventually, the FCC had to contact the Department of Defense and ask us to stop doing that. The irony is I’m tone deaf AF. I don’t know a middle C from an F sharp. I’m jealous of your signal intelligence. 😳📡🛸

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  9. Here may be a formula Phillip will love (cough):
    1. Propose and induce eventual conflict.
    2. When the combatants confront each other let them speak their peace, PH’s cosmic radio.
    For instance, you proposed earlier that Amir’s father would not be happy upon his return. But when this happened, bupkiss.
    Next will be the proposed “working the bakery” at which Amir will chafe. So, conflict, confrontation, resolution: repeat.

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    1. I think I can introduce many layers of conflict all whipping young Amir’s behind. His solution requires him to step outside of his lifelong goals of becoming an Imam and putting on uncle Subinyá’s old cavalry pants. If I can get the rhythm down, the reader will need a nap after riding the whirlwind. Headed back into the chapters for some conflict tweaking…….

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    2. I would drop propose from that equation as one of my least fave techniques – leading. Goes in with ‘splainin (author following). As opposed to blatant foreshadowing, why not let it develop? Approach any personal growth saga with a secret weapon that blows out all the formulas and psychobabble with simplicity and the story will tell itself – Adversity is the first path to truth. – Lord Byron
      Godammit, Amir wiped the sweat off his forehead with a dusty sleeve, I come home and it’s shovel the donkey shit out the stable, Amir. Shovel the coals out the oven, Amir. Shovel the bread out the oven, Amir. Fuck me. Martyrdom is starting to look better-
      Did you say something, my son?
      No no, honored father. Just a prayer…

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      1. Some stories might fall out of Santa’s bag without any forethought. I, like Hype, it seems, like to plan a story arc. We have a purpose in mind, an intent and formulate a plot to deliver it. If foreshadowing is involved tension is induced, resolution required; if as narrative or as dialog or as reflection, any mode will do. The point is, if one is driving toward a certain thematic revelation that plan includes the setup, the escalation, and the culmination.
        Your scene, I would say, is part of the escalation. Would be nice to know Amir’s mind prior to this frustrating moment to give readers a clue, a chance to guess the future. Guessing correctly feeds a reader’s sense of story immersion. Guessing wrong, but for the right reasons, revealed as a twist, is even better.
        Amir complains about the work but because it’s not enough. Down deep he knows he should be punished for those immoral urges he’s been having while gazing upon, Sabina. Why he left in the first place — and now he’s back and cannot control himself.

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        1. “Plot is, I think, the good writer’s last resort and the dullard’s first choice. The story which results from it is apt to feel artificial and labored.” Or, “…plot is more than a sequence of events, it is the intersection between character and circumstance.” Two things control freaks don’t do well. Starting with a predetermined message is not unlike setting out to buy a soapbox and a battery powered PA system for a sermon. If you have something to say, a message to convey, an ideological point and it’s important to you, grab a lamppost or a gargoyle or a rooftop and let it loose. You guys keep putting shit in a proper box and you’ll keep getting wooden results. The play’s the thing, right? As for the set up, as you stated, we have no idea what’s on any of these cat’s minds. Having been accused of that myself long ago by an honest to god NewYork style editor and then told by same it’s okay as long as it’s character driven. You guys need to cut the puppet master strings, throw your characters into a situation and say “Go.” Let them work it out and take notes.

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  10. It’s all been said Dan. You’re a great story and conjuror of scenarios. Frankly I prefer them in comments. 😂🤗

    Liked by 3 people

    1. LMAO! 😂 Humor in the comments over here is rampant although well mannered folk might get offended. I thank you for the tolerance, inspiration, encouragement, and beauty you bring to my rogue’s gallery. It keeps me going even when I realize I have to look up words in the dictionary I learned in the third grade. (The third grade was instrumental in developing my potty mouth humor. I’ve progressed little since then) 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We’ve never let manners stop us. I’m thoroughly enjoying your narrative and the critiques! 🤗

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        1. It is fun, isn’t it? I’m learning the craft as an art and also as a process thanks to my friends. Writing remains the best practice and I’m always happy to do that. 😎📚🧛🏻‍♂️🦇🫶🏽🤗

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          1. You know I think you’re an excellent writer. This is a great idea though. There used to be poetry/ writing forums where, rather than getting a “ perfect” they ripped the heck out of your work of art but you really learned a lot. Your story is intriguing an pulls me right into your plot , keep writing , I’m following right along. 🤗🙌🎉💕

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            1. Thank you Rene. The feeling is mutual and I can say I have really learned a lot from your poetry and writing. Our collaborations have kept me digging into that creative well and over time, I have seen how we both can write a scene that brings the whole story together. That’s amazing to me because the end result is intriguing and transportive. I always feel like I’m right there in the midst of it all. As we both know, that place is a truly lovely place to be when we need to take a step away from daily life on the blue planet.

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              1. Writing Senegal with you has been a delightful venture. I’ve never had so much fun nor found it so easy to collaborate as I have with you Dan. You’re an amazing writer, when floundering you can always set the scene upright. I’m grateful for the great escape with such a talented and inspiring writer!

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                1. We never need to let our indomitable duo grow tired of their adventures. Paris makes a great base of operations and the world is not conquered yet. R & D are forever young and always resourceful. I’m sure David can eventually turn their Piper Cub into a space camper that knows how to get to Planet Nibiru. He knows Renate would approve. 🏝️🚀 💞

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  11. I think our adventure into the world of R and D is calling. How many books can you write at one time 😂🍷🍷

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    1. LOL! I hear them loud and clear. R & D are never far from my thoughts. I think they should always go to the head of the line. ♥️🍷🕯️🍷🩷

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      1. Then we’re on the same wavelength 🌹❤️🥂

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        1. Yes we are. David owes us an explanation on how he escaped the big lizards. Gosh, we haven’t heard from him in so long. Do you think he might be…I can’t go there. I’ll check in and see what’s going on. They have natives to party with and it’s off to Nibiru for a while. I hope they didn’t go without us.

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          1. I don’t think they can go without us and I think they’re pretty eager to get to Nibiru. We’re pretty much in control of their whereabouts, have you noticed?

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            1. I think they secretly like us and I’ve noticed they show a lot of respect and listen to us. Those two, they are so sweet. You just want to hug them and give them a fresh baked apple fritter and ice cream. 😇😇

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